When I promise, I deliver. So here I am! Another blog post. I know what everyone really wants to know but are too scared to ask, what is my next step and whats been going on in my life?
dun. dun. dun.
Well for all of those who didn't know or chose not to read my entire blog (its okay, I don't blame you!) then let me give you the short version. Before the mission, I was engaged, then we called off the engagement so I could go on my mission, went on my mission and had wonderful experiences but then was sent home due to health concerns, and have been home ever since. If you would like to read the extended story on each, you can do so here:
engagement-> http://sisterkarliedonohue.blogspot.com/2013/07/allowing-myself-to-feel.html
coming home->http://sisterkarliedonohue.blogspot.com/2013/09/i-left-my-heart-in-minnesota.html
Anyways, after coming home I was pretty depressed, I will not deny that. The fact that I also did not have a phone, or my laptop, or even my car...made it even worse. I couldn't get out of the house and I could hardly contact anyone, plus most of my friends who are from Sacramento moved away or got married. I quite literally felt stuck and trapped in a box of four walls. I felt so alone. Thankfully Heavenly Father answers prayers because he blessed me with my boyfriend, Zac, being able to fly out to California from Minnesota a few days after I got home. Yes, you read that right, my boyfriend was in Minnesota, aka my mission. He was offered a job in Minnesota and moved out there when I was in the MTC, and from what President told me, he was 20 minutes away from my area. Also the really cool thing was he was having missionary opportunities right and left that I as a missionary were hearing about from other missionaries, it made me quite proud. I was also able to see him the day I flew home from the mission, he called the mission home to ask if he could see me and my mission president called him back and apparently they had a good conversation because all I remember was sister mansfield and I coming out of an appointment and getting a voicemail from President Clements saying; "Umm Sister Donohue, Zac called me and he wants to see you before you leave tomorrow, so please be at the mission home at 9 and he will be there at 9:15. You will be allowed to talk with him for 15 minutes in a well supervised area, I also made him promise me not to hug you. Sister Mansfield you must be gone with your new companion by the time the boyfriend arrives. If for some reason you wish not to see Zac, please call me back." Lets just say that Sister Mansfield and I repeated the voicemail about 3 times to make sure that we heard it correctly, and no, we did not call president back! I was so nervous! I just remember President greeting him first and then him letting Zac join me in his office. We awkwardly sat across each other and exchanged pleasantries and then Zac leaned across the table and said, "Can I just tell you how beautiful you look?" and I blushed and told him he cant say that because I was a missionary. He was like are you serious? and I was dead serious. So we laughed at my awkwardness, and then conversation started flowing, we hardly skipped a beat and then 15 minutes came and went far too quickly. However, I'll let you all in on a secret, I remember how handsome he looked.
I was so grateful that Zac flew out to California to be with me, having him at home with me really did make all the difference, He broke me out of my awkwardness by having a full out pillow fight with me in the living room, he was there when I had my breakdowns about the mission (bless his heart) and he was there to be my emotional support every.step.of.the.way. After a week of being in California, we drove down to Utah for his cousins wedding which was beautiful and it was great to spend time with his family and for me to see my friends. Look! I even snuck into their family photo :)
Not only did we attend a few weddings while we were in Utah, but we started talking about our own. So the cats out of the bag (I've never quite understood that saying, have you?...who really just shoves a cat in a bag? anyways...) we're talking about getting married! We are both so excited to start this next chapter in our lives, We have known each other for a year and a half and I can honestly say that I don't know a better man, he is perfect for me. Just so you know, hes the handsome fella i'm holding hands with in the above photo (: Anyways so now its a matter of a reproposal and planning a wedding which is in the works and then actually having one, so basically all thats left to do is...everything! fantastic. However while in Utah we looked at rings (were getting a new one, we returned the previous) so be excited to see whatever he picks out! and looked at venues and hashed out some wedding details. So don't worry, its coming together (:
He is so cute, He gave me these "tokens" throughout our time together in California and Utah before I left. My top 3 favorites are the kiss token (its how he got his first kiss post mission from me), the expect miracles token..I had written those two words all over my mission planner, and the forever yours token which he slipped to me while in the sealing room of his cousin's wedding (:
So I think by saying that also answers most people's question; Am I going back out on my mission?
No. Since I have been home I haven't had any issues with my back or kidney stones, or really anything for that matter. It was extremely frustrating to me in the beginning and part of me wished I was in pain because then it would make sense to me as to why I was home, as each day went by with no pain the more frustrated and angry I got, thinking, "well thats another day I could have been on the mission." I realized I needed to stop thinking that way. I don't know Heavenly Fathers plan for me, and Im blessed each time He gives me even the smallest of insight. It took me awhile to realize that it wasn't Heavenly Father taking something away from me when He sent me home, but He was giving me everything that I wanted. Before I was on the mission, I was engaged, the only reason I called it off was because I desperately wanted to serve a mission and to learn the things that I needed to to be a better disciple of Christ, daughter of God and a better wife and mother one day. Granted, I wasn't there very long, but by the people I met and especially living with the Dobbins family, I was able to learn by their example and was taught by example on how to be a better wife and mother, and I learned how to be a better disciple of Christ every moment on the mission. I'm not one to live with regrets, and I refused to live in regret of not serving a mission, so I went forward with faith and served with everything I had. As bittersweet as it is, I received confirmation that I did what I was supposed to and He was pleased with how I served, and I fulfilled my purpose there. I cant lie and say I wish I still wasn't out there, I loved my mission, I love my companion dearly and all the sisters that I was able to serve with and I love the people we were teaching and that they're continuing to teach (oh yes, sister mansfield and I write every week, I keep updated!) but seriously, I miss it and if it was where Heavenly Father wanted me, Id be out there as soon as I was able, but its not, He is directing me down a different path and I am finally okay with that.
So since I have been home from my trip to Utah I was able to see my cousin, Tiffany, get married to her boyfriend on saturday. It was a beautiful day and was well spent with my dads side of the family. It was bittersweet because my Uncle, Tiffany's dad, passed away two weeks ago. It was really hard on everyone, and I miss him dearly. But Tiffany's brother was able to walk her down the aisle and they had a moment of silence for him. I am grateful that I know God's plan and that we will be able to see my Uncle Tim again after this life, that brings so much comfort to me. I am so happy for them both, Congratulations Tiffany and Colin!
Other than that, I've been able to have a few missionary experiences. On every flight home, and
every lay over I made a point to talk to someone about the gospel, I gave out a
few restoration pamphlets and pass along cards, and the day after I got home I
went to a missionary activity in the ward and we were able to teach a potential
investigator the restoration. While Zac was here, we had the elders over for
dinner, the first time the missionaries have ever been in this house and I plan on going out with the sisters. I've also been able to share tidbits of my faith with family and friends. So those who
are struggling to share our faith, pray for opportunities and they will come,
but don't forget to do your part and open your mouth and to act on those
promptings, no matter how quiet or small they may seem.
Other than planning a wedding and spending time with my family, I hope to move to Utah this weekend. I am anxious to pick up the pieces of my life and get a job and start school again, I cant sit idle for long.
Sooo until next time....
xoxo
